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[FIC]:Don't always believe what you read

Title: Don't always believe what you read
Author: rin_ee
Super Junior
Genre: crackish/humor (?)
Paring: KangTeuk, mention of QMi
Length: one-shot
Summary: Eeteuk is reading the latest news of his dongsaengs
Disclaimer: I don't own them


"Eeteuk hyung, have you read the latest news?," Kangin asked entering the living-room.

EeTeuk, leader of Super Junior, looked up from his book he was currently reading and gave Kangin a questioning look.

"What do you mean? What kind of news, Kangin?," Eeteuk asked.

"Our dongsaengs. Read,"

Kangin shoved a couple of A4 sizes of printed out articles in his hyung's hands who still frowned at him.

"Read," Kangin said.

"O... kay,"

The reply came out hesitant, but Eeteuk was curious nontheless. He was curious to know what the articles said about their hoobaes. He hoped positive things though. His eyes now fixed on the papers in his hands, Eeteuk began to read the following:

Famous Korean idol behind bars

"What's this? Eeteuk asked confused.

He'd thought he'd read something good, but after having read the first lines of the whole page, he was starting to get worried about what he would find out next.

"Read, hyung. You'll never believe what you read," Kangin urged nestling his head on Eeteuk's lap.

Eeteuk did as told and carefully read the first article while caressing Kangin's hair.

In the early morning of September 15, 2009, 7.30 AM Korean time, a certain Mr. Lee Yah Dong died from the amount of bloodloss as a result by an innocent... hairbrush.

His wound couldn't be treated any further by the doctor with the result of dying slowly from bloodloss.

Now the family, left hurt by this incident, had demanded compensation from the person who did this. They had started a lawsuit against no one other than the famous Korean idol group SHINee's member, Onew, also known as the leader of the gorup.

He was charged for the death of Mr. Lee Yah Dong and for taking their beloved son, brother, husband and brother-in-law away from them. Police had managed to gather evidence of the whole accident and the judge had read through them and finally came to a decision.

Result: Onew sentenced to 5 years in jail for killing Mr. Lee Yah Dong accidentally with an innocent hairbrush.

Facts: Onew was combing his hair like usual and was getting ready for his performance at Music Bank.

Onew is well known for his what they call 'his Onew condition' and because of his Onew's condition, his hand with the brush had somehow came down on Mr. Lee's left eye.

The brush struck Mr. Lee's left eye. Hard.

What the man was doing there, no one had a clue.

"What the heck?," Eeteuk burst out.

He couldn't believe his eyes. What in the world did he just read anyway?

"Read more, hyung," Kangin urged.

He burrowed his face in Eeteuk's stomach.

"Mmmm... you smell sweet, hyung," Kangin commented with a smile.

Eeteuk ignored him as his eyes landed on the second article.

Whore spent three days at police station before returning home

On the 19th September, 2009, Mr. Choi MinHo was roughly shaken up from his peaceful sleep by a surprise visit from two police officers. What he'd thought was cool and all actually turned into a nightmare for the young lad. His hopes of returning back home the same day and sleeping with the rest of his roommates were crushed really badly.

Reasons for his arrest: Jealousy of netizens.
Netizens had thought that the MinHo and Nickkhun-pair were okay the first time they saw the two on "Idol Army". He got some attention there from his hyung. But after a while, they got fed up with MinHo getting a lot of attention from his other hyungs and was given the title of 'hyungwhore', thinking that maybe he'd back down and let his other members get a bit of attention from their hyungs, but alas, MinHo continued getting all the attention from his hyungs. That's why netizens had decided to take desperate measures in their own hands.

"What? This can't be true! All the hyungs love him and he loves them too. The others love the rest of the members too you stupid!," Eeteuk burst out angrily after finishing the particular article. He was screaming at the paper as if it would give him some good explanation.

"They do. That's why the netizens couldn't stand to see him getting all the attention and decided to break him that way," Kangin said calmly.

"Oh screw them! I am going to-!," Eeteuk yelled out angrily, but was stopped by Kangin's words.

'Don't! I mean... you won't be able to help him. He's in the hands of the authority and who knows... maybe you'll get hurt. You know how nasty they can be... and I don't want to lose... you,"

Kangin had sat up and looked into his hyung's eyes. Eeteuk could see the worry and fear in those eyes and decided to stay where he was... on the couch. It was comfortable there anyway.

"Well... okay... then I'll... continue to read the rest of these articles then,"

"Thanks, hyung,"

With that Kangin planted a firm kiss on Eeteuk's right cheek and lied down again. Eeteuk's smile couldn't have gotten any bigger as his eyes went back to the papers in his hands. He was happy again.

The 3 J love triangle: duo happy, one brokenhearted

The officials has finally closed the case of a love triangle. A trio was tangled in a loveweb a few years ago. Two of them (who are a couple) were arrested for breaking a poor heart of a young lad named Lee JunHo.  After a lot of questioning and threatening, the duo had finally confessed their acts to the police. They stated that they didn't feel at least sorry for their wrongdoings.

Police report: Mr. Kim JongHyun, a beautiful young lad had captured the eyes of both an unfortunate Lee JunHo and a fortunate Park JaeBum. The trio started off as good friends, but soon their friendship changed into something deeper.

Both Mr. Lee and Mr. Park fell in love with Mr. Kim. To make a decision, Mr. Kim had requested both to do something special to declare their undying love for him.

Mr. Lee got rejected immediately.

Reason was simple: his skinnies didn't allow him to do a spectacular helicopter twirl, because his pants rode up to the upper half of his legs and he didn't feel comfortable like that.

In the end Mr. Kim chose to spend his life with Mr. Park and they'd decided to elope, leaving a brokenhearted Mr. Lee. Alone with his fanboys who gave him chocolates and dozens of tissues.

The couple Mr. Kim and Mr. Park were ordered to military camp to re-think their wrongdoings by the judge.

The police had deemed the case closed with 100% success.

Eeteuk furrowed his eyebrows. He didn't understand what was going on. Is the world coming to an end? Was he going crazy instead? Where did Kangin get these news anyway? Were they even true? Can you actually get arrested for breaking someone's heart?

"How is this case closed with 100% success? For all I know, they have this case closed with negative zero %. Damn it, they had put innocent people in prison!," Eeteuk burst out.

Kangin was about to reply, but he was interrupted by SJ magnae, KyuHyun, who called Eeteuk for help.

"I'll be right back,"

Eeteuk got up, dropping Kangin none too gently on the floor. A few colourful words followed by groans of pain. That was Kangin. He was starting to wonder how long it'll take for his favourite to return back to help him give a massage, but he didn't have to ponder that long. Eeteuk had re-appeared in the living-room already.

"What did that brat want?," Kangin demanded while rubbing his abused back.

He was annoyed that his time with Eeteuk was interrupted by the magnae and was starting to think of a revenge to get back to KyuHyun.

"Don't call him that. He's such a sweetie and he wanted me to throw away a dead cockcroach. ZhouMi hates them and wouldn't let go of KyuHyun," Eeteuk explained.

"Wimp," Kangin muttered.


"Ouch! Eeteuk hyung! That hurts!,"

"Of course, it is supposed to hurt, because you hurt ZhouMi more with your words," Eeteuk retorted, taking the papers in his hands again.

He was going to read again.

SHINee's diva disappeared mysteriously

Popular music star Kim KiBum aka Key was reported as "Lost" on August 20, 2009 earlier this year. No witnesses or suspects were stated by the police.

A close friend has revealed that the boy must've been captured by aliens which could be true, but authority wouldn't believe this idiotic story.

Facts: In his starlife, Key was known for his sense of fashion and being the diva among SHINee members.

Key won a lot of awards and or titles taking over the throne of famous singer, princess Lee Hyori and 2AM diva, Jo Kwon.

Suspicion: There has been suspicions that certain crazy fangirls or fanboys might be behind the disappearance of Key. They might be angry at Key and just couldn't bear the thought of seeing Key taking over the throne of their favourite diva-star.

Note: Key hasn't been found yet.

"That's horrible! Maybe we should go and find him? We have to take care of our dongsaengs, right?," Eeteuk asked worriedly, biting his lower lip anxiously.

"They had stated that he has disappeared. He's disappeared from the earth's surface hyung! They can't even find him! How can we?," Kangin snorted.

Eeteuk pouted. Kangin was right.

'Come on, hyung. Don't worry too much. He'll find his way back. I'm sure," Kangin out a comforting around Eeteuk who leaned in closer to the warmth gradually.

"Okay... then... I'll read the last article then," EeTeuk sighed out.

Teenager will spend the rest of his life behind bars

Being a cute young teenager and living peacefully is nothing bad, right? Wrong! Maybe it could happen to you or anyone in this planet, earth. It happened to 16 year old Lee Taemin. Unfortunately for this cute boy, he'd have to spend the rest of his life in jail. That's what Mr. Kim, high-judge of Korea's high court stated last night.

Reason: Mr. Lee Taemin is too cute for his own good. He should be protected by crazy stalker noonas who want a piece of him.

Explanation: Mr. Kim had explained that innocent young teenagers like Lee Taemin should be protected by any cost. Such precious teenagers shouldn't have to suffer from inappropriate thoughts or acts from perverts. Thus, it would be better if he's brought under care of the authority so they could look after him properly. Close friends or family don't have to worry, for Lee Taemin would be living in a luxurious room. He'd have his own bathroom, bedroom, computer, games, 19 inch Plasma tv, notebook, personal cook and whatever he desires.

Eeteuk frowned at the last sentence. It definitely was luxurious. Maybe he could have that too if he was TaeMin's age?

"Kangin ah... would I get such treatment too if I end up in jail?," Eeteuk asked looking at Kangin who was staring wide-eyed at him.


Kangin didn't understand what Eeteuk was trying to tell him.

"This... Taemin gets his own computer, bedroom, personal cook etcetra. Will I get such treatment too?," Eeteuk asked again.

"Why do you want that?,"

"So, I don't have to work and can laze around. Life in jail seems fun now," Eeteuk stated.

"But... no... you can't...,"

"Why not? I am cute too like Taemin, right? I should be protected by stalkers too," Eeteuk reasoned.

"Yes, you are... but... but...," Kangin didn't get to finish his sentence, because Eeteuk stood up ready to leave.

"Okay! I've made up  my mind. I am going to join Taemin! Wanna come Kangin? We will living luxuriously,"

Kangin couldn't bring any words out, but Eeteuk didn't wait for him either, because he'd already gotten his wallet and was ready to leave the Super Junior dorm.

Kangin cursed loudly.

"I am so dead. How can he be so gullible?! Why'd he have to believe those words?," Kangin cried out frustrated.

He raked a hand through his hair glaring at nothing in particular.

"That's what you get for trying to prank hyung,"

A smug looking Kyuhyun entered the living-room with Zhoumi latched onto him like a koala.


Author's note: A crappy story I know. I just got this idea out of nowhere. It popped up right before I went to sleep. Crazy, I know... but I hope you all will like reading this and LoL-ing at this. Thank you for reading.



( 2 smileys — 코멘트 )
Nov. 16th, 2009 08:28 am (UTC)
LOL, this is actually kinda funny ♥
Love the hyungwhore and Taemin parts 8DD
Feb. 12th, 2010 05:16 pm (UTC)
Hhhmmmm... understand nothing...
( 2 smileys — 코멘트 )

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